Truth or Dare or Maybe Twilight!
by SnapeTheBoss
Summary: Jasper and Emmet take it upon themselves to get into Bella's pants via truth or dare. Oneshot! Very funny!
1. Chapter 1

One day at the Cullen residence, Emmet and Jasper concieved a master plan to seduce Bella Swan. Emmet would kidnapp Edward and tell Bella he was "hunting". Then Jasper would rally Bella up for a game of Cullen truth or dare. Jasper got in his Jaguar to go get Bella while Emmet wrestled Edward into his Jeep, which he had vampire proofed the day before. Emmet finally managed to shove him in there (that is also "what she said") and proceded to take him to a vampire holding cell in southern Canadia. Jasper drove off to Bella's. When he got there he put on some new Holister perfume (cause the ladies love it) and knocked on the door. Bella apeared and said...

"Hey Jasper, what's up?"

"Edward's off hunting, were suposed to babysitt." Jasper said while imagining the prospect of sitting on babies.

"Well, okay then," said Bella as she got into the Jaguar. They drove off to the Cullen household and went inside where Jacob, Emmet, Alice, and Carlisle (I don't like Esme, so she's not in this story) were all sitting in a circle on the floor. Rosalie was lounging on the sofa like the total over ruler she thought she was.

"Bella!" chirpped the allways excited Alice, "Were gonna play truth or dare! Isn't that great?"

Bella's memories of her past expieriences with truth or dare swam through her mind, especially that one time with Mike...

"Ummm, I don't think that's a good idea..." Bella whined.

"Come on, if you play I swear, no Barbie Bella for a week," said Alice with a mighty grin.

"Okay," she responded and sat on the floor between Carlisle and Jacob.

"What's Jake doing here?" asked Bella.

"Oh, he's here to make sure Alice won't cheat." grinned Emmett. His presence was all a part of his and Jasper's MASTER PLAN. "So... Carlisle! Truth or dare?"

"Ummm, I shall pick dare I supose..." he mused while rubbing his chin.

Emmett thought for a second then said, "I dare you toooo... MAKE OUT WITH JACOB!"

"But I'm not gay!" yelled Carlisle.

"Yeah, he's not gay!" yelled Jacob. They all turned to him at the implication. "oh, and I'm not either OF COURSE." Jacob scratched his ear with his hind legs nervously.

"You have to Carlisle, no taksies backsies!" chirpped Alice.

"Well if there's no taksies baksies..." said Carlisle as he leaned over to Jacob and started making out with him pasionatley. Bella, who was stuck between the two, had a front row seat to the man on man action that had never before been explored as a possible fanfic couple. After about 13452 seconds of making out they seperated and sat back down in thier original positions.

"Well, I guess it's my turn," said Carlisle. "I pick... Jasper."

"Hmmmm... I pick dare." said Jasper smuggly.

"I dare you to undress Bella down to her undergarments wiht your teeth." said Carlisle with a smile.

"Okay then," said Jasper eargerly. He then proceded in tearing Bella's outer clothing layers to shreds. When he was finished she was left in nothing but a matching red and black lace bra and panties.

"Were you expecting something later this evening?" teased Emmet.

"Well...not really...ummmm..." mumbled Bella.

"Okay then!" yelled Jasper. "Alice truth or dare?"

"DARE!" cheered Alice.

"I dare you and Bella to make out, WITH TOUCHING!" yelled Jasper miniacly.

"OKAY!" she churpped and then proceded to fondle and suck face with Bella. Every guy in the room got a boner and then they stopped.

"Okay," said Alice. "Rosalie, truth or dare?" asked Alice.

"Truth, your dares are unworthy of my presence..." she purred.

"Weeellllll, okay then! Have you ever cheated on Emmett?" asked Alice.

"Ummm, yes I have." she said nervously. Finally the "goddess" would get her due...

"That's fine with me babe," Emmett smirked. "You should see MY little black book..."

Rosalie began to have a seizure at the thought of Emmett wanting anyone but HER.

"Okay then... Bella truth or dare.." hissed Rosalie.

Now was the big moment, Bella thought. If I choose truth, my Cullen status willl drop, but a dare holds so many possibilities...

"Dare," she moaned.

"I dare you to put on the most revealing thing in my closet and ride Jasper like a cowgirl." Rosalie smirked triumphantly at her revenge on Alice's truth, but Alice seemed eager for it to happen. Damn pixie is always eager (in bed). Bella got up and walked up the stairs and took ages to get dressed, being a human and all. Suddenly everyone heard panting and turned to see Jacob licking himself.

"I had to clean myself up. Carlisle is QUITE the kisser..."

As everyone stared at the two in disgust, Bella walked down in a thong...and that was all. Again every male in the room got a boner.

"Damn Bella, your hotter then Rose!" whistled Emmett, earning a slap from Rosalie.

"NOW RIDE ME COWGIRL!" hollared Jasper.

Bella pushed Jasper to the ground and straddled him. Then she began to grind him. Finally, Jasper earned a big white stain in his shorts and Bella was satisfied. Edward never let her ride him, even WITH clothes on!

"Okay...Emmett! Truth or Dare?" Bella smirked in her newly aquired nakedness.

"Dare fo sho yo!"

"I dare you to pick another woman to have sex with!" Bella said, not realising she herself was a choice. Emmett grinned like a mad man and hoisted Bella into his arms and out the door. After a few LONG hourse of panting, the came back, naked and deshelved.

"Man, can she RIIIIDDDEEEE!" sighed Emmet while Bella just giggled.

"Edward's gonna kill you!" singsonged Alice.

"Who gives a shit" yelled a sex drunk Bella. They all were shocked that Bella knew a cuss word so they quickly got back to they're game, hopping that it wasn't a sign of the apocolaspe.

"Okay," said Emmett. "Jacob truth or dare?"

"DARE!" he squealed.

"I dare you to hump Rosalie's leg!"

Jacob walked over to Rosalie and vigerously humpped her leg until a sufficient white stain was on his jeans.

"GAHHHH!" yelled Rosalie as she went to take an acid bath.

Emmett took Bella's hand and placed it in his. Ahhhhhh, sweet victory.


	2. Authors Note!

AUTHORS NOTE!

Hey everyone! I just wanted to let you all know that I'm back and better than ever! It's litterally been years since I last posted but I'm going to continue BOTH of my stories and the first updates should be up this friday. I plan to post at least one chapter to each every friday. If any of my previous readers have ideas as to where these stories should go I would LOVE to hear them. Im glad to be back!

With love, SnapeTheBoss


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